I am standing in the GST sex shop in central London, staring up a plastic vagina. I seldom do this. Yet a few weeks ago I heard a news document about some fellas in France who have reported a pharmacy to the French equal opportunities ombudsman for sexual discrimination. The reason, cause it sells sextoys for females and not for males. Now people don’t usually talk about this, they rabbit on about the rabbit, but the plastic vagina has yet to have its Sex and the City moment. So what is out there, Or rather, what is in there?

Allan White is the stock manager for G,S,T. He’s a big bloke and he seems mean, yet he walks me through the thousands of men’s toys with the intensity of a chap talking about power tools. “The big thing at the moment are the anal toys,” he says, waving at a wall of Rocks Off Naughty Boy prostate massagers. “Lads look to have found their bums at long last. Straight men didn’t used to want to buy anything anal,” he beams at me – the fleshlite, “That’s all changed.”

Together we peruse inflatable dolls there is an obese one called Fatima the Fully Functioning Sex Doll, who I feel a weird compassion for and some vaginas. I stuck my finger up one. It has the feel of rotting jelly. It feels dead. “Men mostly buy these to use alone,” Simon says. He points out the Juicy Lucy portable can, which looks like a beer can but has both a vagina and an anus inside, and the Fleshlight, a torch containing a vagina. Both seem like they were crafted by Q for James Bond, “Now, Bond, if you press this a dildo will fire out!”

Toys are a lot more acceptable now than they used to be. There seems to be more mixing between the mainstream and us. People talk more about female sextoys than male sextoys. There is a vast choice available. Why is this, Why do females wave their rabbits at the world while men stash their rubber vaginas?

Guy sex toys don’t look as nice as chick sextoys. A dildo seems more attractive than a fake vagina. It cant be said that the vagina is an ugly thing. You cannot say it looks like a face a car door slammed into.